Remember turning 27 when I did 108 Sun Salutations? Yes, we did that again this year.
Remember turning 28 when I went up to Sibley Volcanic Preserve to walk the labyrinths? Yes, we did that again this year also.
Remember turning 29 when we had that big fondue party? Yep. That was this birthday also.
Things are becoming traditional around here.
The only thing that's changing is the tens place in my age... Wait! NO MATH while on vacation!
Some of you will remember this post from the end of 2009 where I answered a few questions about my ups and downs of the finished year and then set an intention for the year ahead? You should read it again before we have a look at 2010...
First of all, God Answers Prayer. Be careful what you pray for! What was I thinking asking God to do some "rearranging"? Huh? Let's just say the last 4 months of 2010 have been filled with a little angst and dissatisfaction because of that minor "rearranging" request - which is still in the process, nothing has been placed back down yet.
My Acknowledgments...
1. Stayed with living in community even though the transition with housemates was a long and hard process lasting almost 9 months. But even with the challenges, I absolutely love living in community and would highly advise it for others!
2. I successfully completed my 6th year at my current school in East Oakland.
3. I've been taking more risks this year (as I am exploring my more playful side). I tried ecstatic dance for the first time, as well as acro yoga classes. I tried contacting some old high school friends (unsuccessfully, but I'm just proud that I got up enough courage to make the first contact!). I fully committed to the process of grieving the loss of my Dad, Grandma, and Aunt all within a 3 year time period. I started 2010 with some jewelry classes to help me engage with my hobby. I ended 2010 with starting a Stephen Ministry training program and I am actually allowing myself to dream about the future.
4. "Parenting" Ezra "Ezzy" Slash Killer Prancer Kinney. We have absolutely the most perfect kitten for us: playful, attentive, full of personality, and super sweet. She has brought us so much laughter and joy.
5. Reaching out to find a community of people outside of my school and church.
6. Embracing my enneagram path towards integration by taking risks, exploring, reaching out, learning about myself.
7. Developing skills as a worship leader at church and at SaltHouse. I would like to post some of my liturgy here in the future.
Needing to Grieve...
1. Feeling like I ended 2010 the exact same way I ended 2009, like there was no significant progress towards major life goals (although I don't know what those major life goals are...)
2. Struggling in the classroom even though I have this National Board Certification.
3. Allowing chaos at home (with housemate transitions) to bog me down.
4. Not finding a sustainable and enjoyable service to commit to, either at church or in the community, and not even having a desire for serving (it was too easy to just be comfortable staying close to home).
5. Not going further with my jewelry even though I took a couple of classes to improve my skills.
6. Letting go of the yoga teaching dream because of my fear of not being good enough, not knowing enough to be able to teach it, not practicing enough to be authentic in my teaching.
7. Not being more welcoming of people into my home.
8. Still haven't found a "tribe" and not sure if such a thing actually exists.
9. Feeling guilty around involvement at church... when I'm not there I don't want to be there. When I am there, I fully want to be involved.
10. Overall laziness in giving myself to anyone else.
What else do I have to say about 2010?
It was a year of laying low and riding out the transitions but also a year of opening up and taking some risks.
I now declare 2010 complete!!
And what about 2011?
At a friend's B-day party I drew the words "Listening" and "Learning" which did not excite me in the least since I feel like I live that already as a high school teacher. Instead I would like to welcome 2011 as the year of "Vision put into Action."
What are your answers?
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