Witness in the Neighborhood

Warning... this post has some angry words in it. Sensitive eyes should proceed with caution... make wide turns and look both ways.

Dear Owner of the Red and White striped GMC Jimmy that parks on our street,

On Friday night just after 5:00pm, my husband and I were parking our car and we saw a very large (15 passenger size) white van pull out of a driveway and hit the back driver side of your vehicle. This extremely large white van was being controlled by a little old lady who didn't seem very with it when she hobbled out of the van to look at the damage she caused. We asked her if she was going to leave a note and she said no. She said, "I'll catch him later." We're not sure what this means. Does she know you?

Here is an example of the type of van that I'm talking about. We were trying to leave a note on your windshield to tell you what happened, but a very angry man walked down the street (someone who knew the little old lady in the huge white van) and stopped us. He tried to play it like he was the owner of the GMC Jimmy (with the red and white stripes that was hit by the little-almost 100 years old-lady in the extremely-out-of-this-world-big white van). We couldn't tell if he was telling the truth. He said, "Just go on your way, you mother fuckers, this whole neighborhood is a bunch of mother fuckers." We knew that he would take the note off of your windshield if we left one, so we decided to come back later. Later in the evening, you went out. But on Saturday, I saw your truck again on our street, so I'm assuming you live near by... in that case, you must be one of the MF's in the neighborhood. It's a nice place in our neighborhood, isn't it?

Anyways, I took some pictures of your truck. If any of these scratches are new as of Friday November 30, 2007, and you want more information, then please email me at someonehityourcarandran AT gmail DOT com.Sincerly,
Your Neighbor

PS You have many nice stickers on your truck.